EX-Porn Star Danielle’s Story: How I Got out of the Porn Industry


Hi Everybody!

Again, I’m putting another disclaimer for this post. It’s quite heavy and yet mind-blowing. It is definitely for an 18+ audience with graphic details so please watch at your discretion. It is mature subject matter and yet I feel for those that struggle with watching Porn, this video testimony might enlighten you, for those that know of anyone thinking of going into this industry or are in it, know that you can get out of it and that you don’t have to stay there, whether you’re a guy or girl.

Danielle William’s Story

When I first watched Danielle’s story, I was heart-broken and yet sobered up by the realities of other peoples struggles. Her testimony sheds light on how women see themselves, what addictions are and how such places as the Porn industry work to ruin lives of those who watch it and also those engaged in the industry. The Devil is real people. What I found interesting in her testimony is how many people who participated in watching porn were also the very same who would pay to have porn-stars like Danielle and or prostitutes as their personal escort were also “Christian” men in the Church. Now, I know we have a lot of people in the world who struggle with Porn, but we can’t act like it’s not in our back yard. What I also love about her testimony is that she explains how she still felt she was a Christian even though she wasn’t living up to the standards of her beliefs. God revealed to her the truth of what she was living through and how “Money” played a big role in her continuing to be a Porn Star. Money became her God and this led her to be trapped for a time in this dangerous and risky business. She explains the role that STD’s and AIDS plays out in the industry and she also explains how much women make versus what men make in the industry.

Watch her video

After watching it, I thought to myself that Pornography is definitely the devil’s play ground. Although I was exposed to it at the age of 5, I felt that the pictures were rather degrading and evil. Women are not creatures with insatiable desires as these pictures depict and it is no wonder why some young ladies dress up scantily clad trying to imitate these pictures just to get a guy to “notice” them. Their self image in these pictures and videos sell an idea that assumes you have to do these things to get noticed, to get appreciated to get validated as an attractive woman and to get “loved”. These are definitely lies from the pits of hell being fed into especially young minds of young girls and boys that need to be dismantled. Ladies, I’m here to tell you that God didn’t design you to be this way.God created every person to be fearfully and wonderfully made.

Psalm 139:14
I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well.

Virtue should be your mantle and not these scandalous and dangerous activities. It is easy to land in these places and you’ve got to wonder, is it such a mystery as to why some men and women struggle with bulimia, anorexia nervosa, self-injury, suicidal thoughts, drugs, alcohol etc  to numb the pain when they are bombarded with magazines,  television, advertisements in different forms of social media that depict images of what an ideal man or woman should be by the world’s standards? No, it is not a mystery and yet things like Pornography which is a mutli-billion making industry fuel these ideas by those fueled by greed, money and lust at the expense of our generations losing their self-worth and identity. We are losing generations folks, to perversion and violence and the more we hide it under the rug, the more we allow for this culture of genocide to continue. That’s right, you read correctly when I said a “Culture of genocide”. I know using the term genocide sounds strong, but generations are dying because of how we have allowed for such things to control our society, our families and our children.

We feed addictions at the cost of people’s lives and I find this all to be rather really sad and it grieves my spirit to know that young people can’t talk about this stuff freely because of ridicule and condemnation, especially those that are in the church. It is yet another hush hush topic and some are afraid of being judged in a Christian circle because of the high standard expected of young people. The ‘I’m a Christian and yet I struggle with watching porn” isn’t something someone wants to testify let alone admit to because of the thought of, “What’s wrong with me?…I know that it’s wrong but I can’t seem to stop”.

People, it’s a serious stronghold that needs to be broken with much deliverance and healing and EDUCATION.

Christian or no Christian, Porn has it’s own demons and it doesn’t discriminate on who its victims are…you can be a Christian and watch it and you can be a Non-believer and watch it, but the effects of Porn remains the same. It breaks people’s spirits, it breaks relationships and peoples marriages. Let me just say that men aren’t the only participants who watch it, young girls do too from the ones I’ve talked too, but they are ashamed to reveal that because of the social stigma that places women at a higher standard than men to be participating in these activities. I’m here to tell you that women watch Pornography just as much as men do, but many books always focus on men’s issues regarding it because we know it’s an obvious area that targets men, but trust me when I say that there are a lot of closet women who do watch it too and it is no wonder why there is a rise in pre-marital sex, there is a rise of single-mothers all because Sex has been perverted by this industry (as a factor but not the only reason) that thrives to drive people away from what God intended sex to be for which is for the sacred institution of Marriage with One Man and One Woman – just to make that clear.

My abuser obviously had a problem with Porn and she was a woman…a “Christian” one at that… so don’t assume that I’m only talking to men who watch it because women do too and for different reasons. For men it maybe more for physical release whereas for women it maybe more for emotional release.  I won’t profess to be an expert on this topic, but I’m just laying out my opinions. I’d be very interested to hear other people’s feed back on this so please by all means comment below and let’s have a discussion.

For the men that watch it, I’m not here to condemn you at all about those that watch it, but understand how you viewing it continues the violence that these young women experience. There has been research to support that most sexual offenders imitate what they have seen in Porn videos and afflict the same activities on their victims. Sex Trafficking is a major issue in foreign countries and it is also happening in our back yards which is also another arm to fuel the Porn industry. Men…you have to break the cycle if you want to be serious. You must believe that you can overcome the temptation of it all by admitting that you may have a problem and you need some accountability for it. Seek support groups and do what you have to do in order to be set free from the addiction of watching Porn. God want’s you to know that we all have the ability to have self-control and you need to embrace that truth.

2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (of cowardice, of craven and cringing and fawning fear), but [He has given us a spirit] of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and selfcontrol.

Titus 2:12
It has trained us to reject and renounce all ungodliness (irreligion) and worldly (passionate) desires, to live discreet (temperate, selfcontrolled), upright, devout (spiritually whole) lives in this present world,

2 Peter 1:6
And in [exercising] knowledge [develop] selfcontrol, and in [exercising] selfcontrol [develop] steadfastness (patience, endurance), and in [exercising] steadfastness [develop] godliness (piety),

Suffer no delusions and wake up people! You are a victim if you watch it and/or participate in it, but God wants to break these addictions and the only way to be free from them is by confessing it for what it is (Repentance) and then seeking some Godly counsel or some effective support groups to help deal with these issues before they spiral out of control.

Porn effects both men and women, young or old in respect to their self-image.

Remember Danielle’s testimony and realize that this industry affects how we view ourselves for those  of us who are in the Body of Christ. I encourage everybody to do some serious soul searching and some real-talk about this issue with some support system and accountability partners so that we break the cycle of self-abuse and continual abuse-by-proxy by continuing to watch Porn that affect the people who participate in the industry. Spread the word and feel free to share this post if you think it will help somebody.

Danielle is an amazing conqueror and overcomer as an EX-Porn star that has battled her demons in this evil industry and she is a living testimony that you can be set free from the stronghold of the Porn industry and from Pornography.

The glamor of it all is false and it’s amazing how young ladies are suckered into this place driven by lust and money. Guard your children parents! Vigilance is key here especially in their formative years. Consider that Men, if you don’t show the proper respect you have for your wives and daughters…your children will look elsewhere for some validation. God forbid if they land in this industry that may cater to their emotional needs not being met or other perverse avenues. Mothers, your sons need to be taught how to respect women by you being an example that is attractive to follow. A women of virtue is definitely a Proverbs 31 woman. They need to respect you at home and Fathers need to train men in the way they should go so that they don’t depart from your wisdom.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.

Ephesians 6:4
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Do not judge your children harshly if you find out that they do in fact struggle with Porn or drugs or whatever addiction. The last thing a child wants to hear after they confess their issues is utter condemnation from their parents…this continues to facilitate their silence. Be open and discuss openly rather than fueling their silence to their struggles with your criticism. Ask yourself how would Jesus address the issue, with Love? or Condemnation? You play such a vital role in a Child’s life and freedom comes in an environment where love surrounds them and cultivates a safety net where they are free to express themselves without fear of condemnation. You can shut a child down by condemning words rather than with compassion.

Well that’s all I have to say  on this topic so I hope this post blesses somebody today and may Truth break the silence.

I recommend Sister Res’s blog for more information regarding information on the topic of sexual abuse. She has amazing posts that have ministered to my spirit. I totally recommend them.

Articles of interest from her blog are:

Sex Trafficking from the 13th Floor

The Bible and Child Sexual Abuse I

The Bible and Child Sexual Abuse II

I also Recommend these Resources via http://therproject.org/wp/cornerstone-church/fighting-for-purity/:

ONLINE RESOURCES

X3 watch – FREE. X3 watch sends fortnightly reports to 2 email buddies with questionable sites visited. It also says when the system has been turned off. (works on computer and even handheld devices!)

Covenant Eyes – Covenant Eyes Software provides Internet Integrity with accountability reports.

XXXchurch.com Don’t let the name put you off! This site is doing a great job at fighting for purity online. Very good advice for parents + links to some more helpful sites.

FREE EBOOKS

Porn Again Christian – Mark Driscoll

RECOMMENDED BOOKS

Every Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker

Sex is Not the Problem, Lust Is by Joshua Harris

Sexual Detox: A Guide for Guys Who are Sick of Porn by Tim Challies

To Finish off, I also have a Song from J.R. called Temptations. May this song Minister to you today.

God bless you Everybody!

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Self Respect – I’m all about that!


I was contemplating about what it means to have self-respect  since I have often come across people that lack it and suffer so many things in this life because that have not developed a strong self-esteem. I came up with a few things that I consider to be my list of things that I believe are a part of the definition of self-respect and anyone can use this as a basis or starting point when reflecting on the areas that they have to work at in order to build on it and maintain a high level of self-respect.  It is as much an attitude as it is a lifestyle and I can tell you that it’s not easy to maintain but we can all work towards it when we put our mind to it. This list is also something I have been putting into practice and I am still working on it since I am a constant work in progress so mind you it is not an exhaustive list. If you have more to add, please do comment in the comment box below. I’m happy to hear from others point of view.

Self RESPECT says:

I deserve the respect I give is what I expect in return.

I will NOT compromise with God’s moral compass over my life (Luke 9:23; John 8:12; John 10:27; John 12:26).

I have a brain and can think for myself (2 Corinthians 10:5).

I know what it means to serve others above myself (Galatians 5:13).

I will NOT be someone’s doormat!

I will NOT allow myself to be abused, nor will I be abusive to others (Matthew 7:12; Luke 6:31).

I will learn to LISTEN rather than be HEARD.

I will exercise SELF-CONTROL (Galatians 5:23; Titus 1:8 ; 2 Peter 1:6).

I will humble myself before my peers rather than be arrogant and full of PRIDE (James 4:6; 1 Peter 5:5).

I will NOT cause someone to compromise against GOD’s moral Standard (Romans 14:13).

I will NOT believe in the words of GOSSIP nor will I become a GOSSIPER (Psalm 101:5; Proverbs 10:18).

I will NOT allow bitterness to consume me (Hebrews 12:15).

I will assess my motivations and intentions before taking a course of action.

I will learn to FORGIVE as CHRIST has done for Me (Psalm 85:2; Psalm 86:5; Daniel 9:9; Matthew 6:12; Matthew 6:14; Mark 11:25; Mark 11:26).

I will give a lending hand to those in NEED (Matthew 25:36-38).

I understand and recognize that I am born to be Blessed to be a BLESSING wherever I go (Deuteronomy 28:3; Revelation 22:14)

I will sacrifice my time and be selfless to others and NOT be selfish.

I will study to show myself approved (Psalm 119:104; Proverbs 4:7; Proverbs 19:8).

I will focus on the goal and NOT the obstacles (Philippians 3:13-14).

I acknowledge my weaknesses, failures, mistakes and refuse to be IN DENIAL of them.

I accept correction, training, rebuke from my mentors when I’m straying from the road (Hebrews 12:7; 2 Timothy 3:16).

I accept that it is better to give than to receive (Acts 20:35).

I will learn to LOVE and not HATE (1 Corinthians 13).

I will understand that bad things can also happen to GOOD people.

I will accept GOD’s MERCY and GRACE and refuse SELF-CONDEMNATION (Romans 8:1).

I will NOT laugh at anothers misfortune no matter what wrong they have done to me.

I will NOT envy other peoples belongings and relationships (Deuteronomy 5:21).

I will handle other people’s belongings as I would if they were my own.

I will NOT look to the left nor to the right and will look at what’s right in front of me.

I will practice self-meditation and reflect on what I have to do to personally change for the better (Joshua 1:8; Psalm 1:2; Psalm 119:15; Psalm 119:27)..

I will NOT point the finger at someone else if I haven’t fixed my own personal issues (Matthew 7:3).

I will look for the GOOD in people instead of focusing on criticizing on the BAD (Romans 14:19; 1 Thessalonians 5:11).

I will accept that I am LOVED by GOD above all persons (John 3:16).

I choose to be different because I am UNIQUE and refuse to be a Copycat (Psalm 139:14).

I will choose to think POSITIVE and reject the NEGATIVE.

I am a CHILD of GOD and I BELIEVE IT (Acts 3:25; Romans 8:14; Romans 8:19; Galatians 3:26).

I believe I am FREE in Christ – Whom the Son sets free is FREE indeed! (John 8:36).

I will NOT REACT when offended and will learn how to RESPOND appropriately to maintain peace.

I will choose my battles wisely.

I will meditate on the WORD of GOD and remember the TRUTH within my heart (Psalm 40:10).

I understand that hurting people hurt people and that I will NOT do the same to hurt another.

I acknowledge that a WRONG + WRONG doesn’t = RIGHT.

I understand that GOD is my source and HE is the supplier of ALL my Needs (Philippians 4:19).

I will focus on my NEEDS over my WANTS.

I will surround myself with wise counsel and repel the rebellious ones (Proverbs 1:5; Proverbs 12:15; Proverbs 19:20; Proverbs 24:6).

I will focus on working more on my Integrity over my Reputation.

I will seek to be PROACTIVE rather that INACTIVE.

I will learn to PARTICIPATE rather than ISOLATE myself from others.

I will overcome EVIL with GOOD with GOD’s help (Romans 12:21).

I understand my limitations and seek God for strength (2 Samuel 22:33;Psalm 18:2 ; Psalm 18:32 ; Psalm 73:26; Psalm 77:14 ; Psalm 140:7 ).

I know that my ways are foolishness to GOD so I will seek His ways above my own (Isaiah 55:8).

I will pursue purpose with integrity (Job 31:6; Psalm 7:8).

I will RESPECT others as I RESPECT MYSELF.

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“I am Offended!” – Deal with It!


Before I even thought about doing this post I started to think that “Man….I am one to talk! I seriously am one to Talk!”. I have noticed that a lot of hits have been towards a past post I had written called “So You Lied to Me – Trust is Earned My Friend”. I wondered why people seem to be gravitating to that post since I have others that are about character building but when I think about it…it’s not really something I should be surprised about because we all go through that phase of broken trust…broken promises, hurt emotions, anger and resentment. I thank all that have been reading and I still hope that my blog is helping someone out there. I just want to state that I’m merely writing out of experience and for me…my initial intention was to write for self-therapy…more like I use it to write about how I’m feeling at the time and I talk myself through  it all with what emotions or situations I am dealing with. So for this post, I’m walking myself through being Offended and dealing with it. I think that we should be really REAL with ourselves when it comes to our emotions. If we want to be healed or delivered from certain issues and situations that we have had to tackle in our lives, we must come to terms and be completely HONEST with ourselves. Deliverance and Healing is the children’s bread and we need to walk in it daily so that we learn from our weaknesses in order to become stronger for the next time we face an offence. You must be  wondering, how do we walk in our Deliverance/Healing daily? How exactly do we do that? By practicing self-reflection and constant soul-searching on a DAILY basis with the help of Prayer. Monitor how your REACT versus how you RESPOND to situations. We are emotional beings but if we want to nurture a spirit of SELF-CONTROL then we have to learn to be honest with ourselves and learn from our mistakes in order to operate differently. You will find that you will be re-tested on the same issue if you don’t learn to change your ways. If you find yourself being offended over and over on the same issue then that is a cycle of insanity. If you react to something the same way expecting a different result, that is a cycle of insanity. You don’t want to go there do you? If you don’t, you have to recognise yourself for going around in circles. YOU have to break the cycle of insanity by permitting CHANGE.  Change your Attitude, Change your Choices and you will Change your Direction and head towards your breakthroughs in your life. I find that when I’m emotional, reason has no room to make sense of a situation when I’m angry. I don’t hear any sound advice at that time because I’m just too upset to listen. There is that Proverb in the bible that always hits me in the face when I’m angry and it’s in respect to the fact that you cannot reason with a fool (Proverbs 26:4). When you are angry, you cannot think rationally if your emotions are in upheaval. I remember someone once told me that if one person offends another because they are angry and the other reacts in return with that same anger, it is difficult to distinguish who the fool is between the two parties if they both are reacting in the same way. Doesn’t that speak volumes to you?  Well it did to me. I thought about it and considered I don’t want to look like a fool so I must seriously learn to bridle my tongue and monitor my reactions. I sometimes slip up on various occassions and beat myself over it because I knew I should have responded appropriately and didn’t…however, sometimes my emotions get the best of me and I end up reacting instead of maintaining my composure. I’m sure we’ve all been there and done that. I’m here to put my hand up first to fess up to my messes. It’s a humbling journey and I wince at the times I failed the test and God puts me in another test to take a make-up exam on the same issue until I’ve learned my lesson. When we are angry our emotions become unsettled and also become very unstable. Anger is not a bad emotion but if we sin in anger, that is the time when we must admit that we have crossed the line with our emotions. You can sin in anger (Ephesians 4:26) and that is why we have to nurture a spirit of self-control to keep it together (Galatians 5:23). This is why we need to grow in FAITH because we can rely on the help of the Holy Spirit to give us self-control when we are about to sin.  The need to have self-control is to avoid having a seed of bitterness implanted into our hearts that grows into a bitter root called hatred. You don’t want to add fuel to the fire so snuff out the things that cause you to stumble over and over when offended. I have read a book that helped me deal with the issue of anger and bitterness and it’s by John Bevere called The Bait of Satan.  When I read that book, I realized that I had soo many things I needed to change in order to not cultivate a diseased heart of bitterness, anger and resentment. I didn’t want to live pained by hatred anymore and needed some serious deliverance from the anguish I had felt over some serious offences that I suffered from people that had done me wrong in the past. Remember that Forgiveness is about you and not the other person. Forgiveness helps you to heal from the offence. I had to pray to let go of past hurts but that doesn’t mean that you won’t encounter moments when the same hurt resurfaceses to wound you again or that you won’t be reminded of the bitterness you felt after the fact. I find that even when I pray to forgive there are times when I don’t “feel” like I’ve actually forgiven because I still feel pained by the offence, but forgiveness isn’t a “feeling” thing, it is a “faith” thing. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 Peter 1:5-7 New King James Version (NKJV)

Fruitful Growth in the Faith   5 But also for this very reason, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue, to virtue knowledge, 6 to knowledge self-control, to self-control perseverance, to perseverance godliness, 7 to godliness brotherly kindness, and to brotherly kindness love.        

Understand that hurting people hurt people.Some people do things that are hurtful to others because they lack that practice of introspection. When they see someone who is strong in their attitude, they feel the need to pull such people down and that’s where we have to come to terms that we will always face people that will offend us one way or another. Don’t fall into the same pit of negativity as they are in because misery wants company.  I learned all of that in the book by John Bevere called The Bait of Satan . I totally recommend it if you need to find closure on certain issues. This book will help you heal and help you get delievered out of that cycle of rage, hatred, depression and all those other negative emotions that keep you bound from moving on in your life. Pray to God, Seek counselling if you need it, and learn to build self-control. You will need accountability partners to help you heal as well. They are needed in your life to keep your behavior in check. If you don’t have any, seek out positive mentors and connect with strong people that aren’t afraid to tell you like it is. You need those that have the maturity to deal with such issues and are able to assist you and walk you through that path of healing, but you have to seek that out for yourself if you want to walk in your healing and deliverance. As a last note, learn to bridle your tongue because out of it flows the issues of life (Proverbs 4:23; Matthew 12:34; Luke 6:45).

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