God’s View of Marriage and Divorce – The Biblical Standard


Hello Peeps!

Image result for DivorceWell, today I woke up with this topic in my spirit. Whenever the Lord presses me to write on a sensitive issue, I always feel the I need to pray about it before I pursue it, so here is what I believe is God’s view point regarding the issue of DIVORCE. I will first give the Biblical view point on the topic and then I’ll add my 2 cents on it at the end.


Before I even go into depth regarding God’s view on the topic of DIVORCE, I must first define what a Marriage is by Biblical standards. Marriage in The Bible is defined as one union between 1 Man and 1 Woman (PERIOD). Anything outside this definition and context is contrary to the Biblical definition of marriage. Therefore, things like “same-sex marriages” or “polyamorous marriages” etc, do not fit in the Biblical context or definition of a Godly marriage. If you look at 1 Corinthians 7:1- 7The Bible confirms this definition, if you read the following that I’ve bold-ed:


1 Corinthians 7 

Principles of Marriage

Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me:

It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.


The Bible also highlights SPECIFICALLY that the unmarried and those who are widows (married individuals who have lost their spouse through death), are categorically those that are allowed to marry if they choose to do so; and if these individuals (categorically speaking) lack self-control with respect to their sexual desires. It is better for such people, categorically speaking, to marry rather than commit adultery or fornicate (have sex outside of marriage) as a consequence of their lack of self-control as is stated in the following verses of scripture:


1 Corinthians 7: 8-9

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.


Those that have had sex outside the context of a marriage have sinned by God’s standard, and must confess and repent of their actions if they are truly contrite and aware that they have fallen short in this area of their lives. Some people may have had sexual experiences in their lives without knowing God’s standards regarding sexual purity and marriage, especially for those who weren’t Christian in the first place (unbelievers). However, once a person is aware and knows that engaging in such activities is sinful by God’s standards, they must choose not to engage any further in this area of sin after that. Those that continue in the knowledge of it are guilty of sinning in this area of their lives by their own volition and choice.


What about Rape, Molestation, or Exploited victims? 

In my opinion, those that have had sexual experiences against their will are not guilty of having had such experiences that compromised their purity by God’s standards. However, those that have committed such atrocities against another person or person(s), are guilty and have sinned greatly by God’s standards, and such individuals do end up reaping whatever thing they have sowed. I know that in the old testament times, raped victims ended up marrying their rapists under the Mosaic laws during those times. This was done as a means of restoring the raped victims honor (in a patriarchal Hebraic society), since the victim was considered no longer a virgin, and therefore, no man would have wanted to marry her. This law was instituted to restore a raped victims honor for her to be eligible to get married, and therefore, she would subsequently marry her rapist. I don’t know about you, but I think a victimized woman would rather remain single than marry her rapist… but I don’t know… that’s just me.


The Bible is also emphatic about husbands and wives keeping their marriage vows regardless of whether their partner is a Believer or not. If one partner is a Believer of Christ – A Christian, then the other spouse is also sanctified by their believing spouse in their marriage, and their children also become holy. However, if the unbelieving spouse chooses to leave the marriage, The Bible states in 1 Corinthians 7:15 that they should let them depart because how can they know whether or not they can save their unbelieving spouse? Only God can save an unbelieving spouse.


Image result for marriage vowsKeep Your Marriage Vows

10 Now to the married I commandyet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.

12 But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?


In 1 Corinthians 7: 25-28, The Bible states that for those who are unmarried and virgins, that it is alright to remain as you are since you aren’t bound to anyone. However, just because your single doesn’t necessarily mean you live life without some sense of self-restraint and self-control. This doesn’t give a single person the license to act crazy and live life recklessly and irresponsibly. However, if a single person or widow marries, they have not sinned according to God’s standards.


To the Unmarried and Widows

25 Now concerning virgins: I have no commandment from the Lord; yet I give judgment as one whom the Lord in His mercy has made trustworthy. 26 I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress—that it is good for a man to remain as he is: 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But even if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Nevertheless such will have trouble in the flesh, but I would spare you.


In 1 Corinthians 7:32-40The Bible makes a distinction regarding the differences between a married person versus an unmarried person.

For those that are unmarried, they are identified as those who: 

  1. care for the things of the Lord and how they may please Him (verse 32)
  2. care about being holy both in body and in spirit.
  3. when not given in marriage, they are those that do better (verse 38).

In contrast, for those that are married, they are identified as those who:

  1. care about the things of the world (verse 33)
  2. care about how they may please their spouse.
  3. when given in marriage, they are those that do well (verse 38).

32 But I want you to be without [b]care. He who is unmarried [c]cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. 34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.

36 But if any man thinks he is behaving improperly toward his [d]virgin, if she is past the flower of youth, and thus it must be, let him do what he wishes. He does not sin; let them marry. 37 Nevertheless he who stands steadfast in his heart, having no necessity, but has power over his own will, and has so determined in his heart that he will keep his [e]virgin, does well. 38 So then he who gives [f]her in marriage does well, but he who does not give her in marriage does better.


In the last 2 verses of the same chapter, The Bible clearly states that the wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives, but if he dies, she is at liberty to marry whomever she chooses in the Lord. Therefore, there is no room for an adulterous affair to take place, nor does a marriage permit having various other partners in the context of a Godly union.


39 A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But she is happier if she remains as she is, according to my judgment—and I think I also have the Spirit of God.

What about the Issue of Divorce? What is God’s take on the topic?

In order to talk about Divorce, we must look at Jesus’ perspective on the matter when the Pharisees tested Him on this same subject by looking at the following verses of scripture found in:


Matthew 19:1-10 (NKJV)

Image result for DivorceMarriage and Divorce

19 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.

The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who[a]made them at the beginning made them male and female,’ and said,‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.

They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”

He said to them, Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for [b]sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.

10 His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”


Image result for Divorce


It is clear that Jesus clarifies the parameters that allow for a Divorce of a marital union to take place in the book of Matthew 19:1-10 (NKJV). According to Jesus:

  1. Divorce was introduced in The Bible during the days of Moses where a certificate of divorce was issued to put away a man’s wife (verses 7-8). However, Jesus also stated that from the beginning, that wasn’t part of God’s plan. This was a man-made law created for a sinful generation that didn’t value the sanctity of marriage.
  2. Jesus, Himself, states that a divorce is only permitted if there is evidence of adultery, where one spouse has practiced sexual immorality and then chooses to marry another person.
  3. Jesus also makes it clear in verse 9 that whoever marries a divorced person has committed adultery.

I find it interesting that Jesus makes it clear in Matthew 19:4-6 that the Lord made us Male and Female and for this reason, a (male) man will leave his parents house and be joined together with his (female) wife and the two will become one flesh. No where does Jesus define this concept of marriage as homosexual, bisexual, or polymorous in nature, etc etc. It’s strictly between 1 man and 1 woman by God’s definition, so people really have no room to get this twisted.


So what about those that were once divorced and have married someone else?

The truth is, Biblically speaking, those that marry someone else after divorcing their first spouse have committed adultery by God’s standard.


Does that mean that they should divorce their new spouse to make things right? Divorcing twice over doesn’t make much of a difference, because adultery has already taken place and adultery is sin. Sin, is sin is sin is sin. There’s no two ways about this. All I can say is that for anyone that has committed adultery in someway, Go before God and seek repentance for making such a decision and life changing mistake. If you truly fear God, your spirit will be convicted of this Truth. Once a person is divorced, they are not permitted to marry someone else as is stipulated in The Bible, because that will be deemed as an act of ADULTERY; but we live in a sinful generation that so many people choose to ignore this and go about their business doing whatever it is that they like. I know that with the whole thing about Israel Houghton marrying his new wife Adrienne Bailon after divorcing his first wife, Meleasa Houghton, many have been quick to judge him on his choice to marry someone else with a condemning attitude… but I believe Jesus would look at his accusers and ask them this question in John 8:7:


John 8:1-12 (NKJV)

Jesus the Light of the World

But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

Now [a]early in the morning He came again into the temple, and all the people came to Him; and He sat down and taught them. Then the scribes and Pharisees brought to Him a woman caught in adultery. And when they had set her in the midst, they said to Him, “Teacher, [b]this woman was caught in adultery, in the very act. Now [c]Moses, in the law, commanded us [d]that such should be stoned. But what do You [e]say?” This they said, testing Him, that they might have something of which to accuse Him. But Jesus stooped down and wrote on the ground with His finger, [f]as though He did not hear.

So when they continued asking Him, He [g]raised Himself up and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.” And again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. Then those who heard it, being[h] convicted by their conscience, went out one by one, beginning with the oldest even to the last. And Jesus was left alone, and the woman standing in the midst. 10 When Jesus had raised Himself up [i]and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, “Woman, where are those accusers [j]of yours? Has no one condemned you?”

11 She said, “No one, Lord.”

And Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you; go [k]and sin no more.”

12 Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying, “I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life.”


Related image


As you can see, the scribes and Pharisees were quick to judge a person by their self-righteous standards; however, when it comes to God, we must always remember that the judgment we place on another person will be weighed against ourselves by God’s standards.


Matthew 7:2-4 (NKJV)

For with what [a]judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you. And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me remove the speck from your eye’; and look, a plank is in your own eye?


Image result for Meleasa Houghton

Image Source: Israel and former wife Meleasa

Does that mean that Israel Houghton didn’t commit adultery? No… because according to The Bible, he has committed adultery in marrying his 2nd wife Adrienne Bailon while divorcing his 1st wife Meleasa Houghton. However, I am of the opinion that he himself needs to be convicted of that truth. It’s simple to point the finger at him as outside observers expecting a higher standard of behaviour from him simply because he is a worship minister… but sometimes I feel that certain Christians … no matter what platform, position or title they carry within the church, if they are not taught what the Fear of the Lord is, they will be prone to making such mistakes. It is easier to expect a higher standard of such people; however, anyone is capable of making this mistake as with other mistakes, so we shouldn’t put such people on a high pedestal expecting them to be perfect when they are simply just human. At the end of the day, Israel Houghton and Adrienne Baillon both have to feel convicted that they have committed adultery by the Biblical definition of it, and be repentant of it themselves; between themselves and God. Anyone can be in denial regarding their actions in any area of their lives; however, if you are not convicted by Biblical standards of truth… then people leave room to sear their conscience bit-by-bit if they lack spiritual conviction that causes one to seek repentance from the Lord for their short-comings. There is no room to re-interpret what Jesus’ considers as adultery when it’s written plainly in The Bible for anyone to understand. Again I say, Sin is sin is sin is sin. There’s no two ways about it…


Image result for Meleasa Houghton

Image Source: Israel Hougton marries Adrienne Bailon

Although the deed is done, that doesn’t mean that our God is not quick to forgive when one comes before Him contrite in spirit while acknowledging their sin and short-comings. However, just because God forgives, doesn’t mean that people don’t end up reaping whatever they have sown. Sin always has a list of  consequences that follow, so it is important to learn to reverentially Fear the Lord in all that you do. It’s so easy to point fingers at other people who have fallen short and make a tabloid out of their mess. However, we must remember that the way in which we treat others, will be the same measure used to judge what we will receive in return. You get what you dish out. If you dish out judgments and criticisms towards other peoples flaws, you’ll receive the same level of treatment and judgment in return. Do not be the one that casts the first stone. As Christians, it is important to remember to remain humble and forgive others when they make mistakes. Don’t be quick to judge others so harshly without understanding their circumstances.


When judging another, we must remember that the measure you give is what you will receive in return. Let me make it clear in that although God is just to forgive us, this doesn’t give us a license to continue sinning in any area of our lives. We have to fear God in such a reverential type of way that we don’t end up searing our consciences just to go by what is politically correct in order to feed our fleshy desires rather than what is Biblically correct. Divorce is not of God since He hates divorce; however, God is just to forgive those who have gone through with this in their lives.


When correcting your brother or sister regarding a moral flaw, do so with love and righteousness rather than with condemnation, while at the same time, not watering down the truth so that they can sleep well at night. Correct and rebuke in such a way that it brings about inner-conviction to go back to God and seek forgiveness for their moral flaws, and to turn away from straying into the wrong path that doesn’t lead them in the right direction. This is how we teach others to REVERENTIALLY Fear the Lord. We must remember, not to be condemning when correcting our brother or sister. We should always correct in a truthful but loving manner so as to bring about inner conviction that leads a person to correct their actions that causes them to turn away from sin and repent of their behaviour. As Christians, we cannot afford to water-down the truth so that others can simply “sleep well at night”. We are our brother’s keeper so let us pray for each other when struggling with sin in certain areas of our lives rather than pointing the finger. I believe that this message was for someone needing to read this today. I pray that this post blesses you today. God Bless You Everybody! 😀

I Go Crazy for You


Hello Peeps!

I’m sure the title of this post must have got you thinkin’ what is making Sherline Go Crazy huh!!!!? lol 😀 … well, let me calm you down right there and let you know that I have all my faculties together so not to worry. I’m just posting this upbeat song by GI (God’s Image) called Go Crazy. It’s not a new song but I just love it and wanted to share it here with you today. When I think of what the Lord has done for me for the past couple of years with the sickness I endured and the long journey to recovery, I think I can say that I just go crazy with Joy for what the Lord has done in my life. I feel positive about what lies ahead for me in my future. The Lord never leaves us forsaken. 


Image result for dead end relationshipI’ve come to terms with those that walk out of my life and am willing to embrace those that want to be a part of my life. I have chosen not to cling onto people that won’t cling onto me and just let them go. There’s no need for dead weight that won’t take you anywhere. It’s better to be freed of dead weight and align yourself with people that honestly make an effort to be in your life and want to have something to do with you. Life isn’t about pleasing people that are around you, it’s about doing what is pleasing before God and allowing God to show you who you really should be aligned with and connected to even when it hurts as He strikes off some peeps out of your life that add no spiritual, emotional, or intellectual value to your destiny.


Related imageI think many struggle to let go of “dead-end” relationships, but at the end of the day, we must acknowledge the fact that weeds choke the potential of a plant or tree to grow, so you must uproot the weedy people out of your lives if you want to grow and thrive in the long run. This also applies to those in ministry and also to your places of employment where you find no room to grow in your careers, or where you find that there are no opportunities for advancement because certain people are either blocking you from reaching your goals, or there is no room to advance in the place that you find yourself in.


Ask yourself, how long will you stick it out? Will you wait until you get totally frustrated? Or will you allow God to shift you and reposition you into a different role, company, occupation, ministry, etc? What will it take for you to move with the seasons of change that God has in your life that is intended for you to shift from where you are to where He wants you to go and be, hmmmmmm…..?


Image result for dead end relationshipAre you willing to allow God to shift you from where you are to where He wants you to be? Ask yourself all these questions today. Don’t allow weedy people to short change your destiny. Don’t give people that much power over your life that you can’t breathe freely in the end. God didn’t sign you up to be caged with the wrong people that are thwarting your potential to succeed. You have to recognize when where you are simply isn’t good enough for you, and when God wants to take you out of that dead-end pit and into a better place that will help you thrive. The question is, do you trust God to direct your path? If you do… then move when God tells you to move, Amen! 



The last song is I have here is also by GI (God’s Image) called Pray and Don’t Worry. I think that this song is awesome and it really is uplifting to any weary soul that needs a song to encourage them especially when you’re feeling at your lowest. Don’t put your trust in the wrong places. Don’t put your trust in people that are susceptible to disappointing you and are not perfect to begin with. Put your total trust in God who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all you could ask or think of, Amen! Put your trust in the right place is my main message. Learn to pray to God and make your requests known to God so that He is able to answer to your need in His perfect timing, Amen! Thank God for every victory and remember all blessings you have in your life come from God. 


Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;


Proverbs 3:5-6 [Full Chapter]

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.


Ephesians 3:20-21 [Full Chapter]

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

Don’t Waste Your Singleness


Hello People!

Image result for singlenessI just had to post these two videos by Joseph Solomon to encourage those who are “Single” as in “Not Married” to not waste their singleness by being overly consumed with this preoccupation of wanting to get married. I’m not saying that it’s bad to have a desire to be married because honestly, I’d like to get married one of these days (if that’ll ever happen); however, what I am saying is that as a single person, you don’t have to be so overly consumed by the desire to get married because you can enjoy your season as a single person if you appreciate what you have right now with respect and value.


I’ve seen people get together wishing they were single again while some single people are still yearning for a mate. The desire to get married is not a bad thing, but don’t make marriage an idol unto itself. You’ll find yourself pursuing a person to reach that goal for the wrong reasons and then once that goal is accomplished, you may even regret the choice that you even made because you were so wrapped up in achieving the goal of marriage that you may not have discerned that the person you were with could have been an unequal yoke to your destiny.


Image result for singleness


That’s why it is so important to be prayerful about your future spouse. Although men should do the pursuing, I think that men just as much as women need to be just as prayerful about who their spouse might be. God has a way of showing a man who he should pursue. I believe that 100%. At the same time ladies, don’t chase after the guy that catches your eye, especially if he is not pursuing you in anyway. You might land yourself in a place filled with disappointment if you pursue someone that isn’t even looking in your direction. Trust me, I’ve learned.


As a go-getter type of chick that I am, I find this to be quite difficult for me to do because I’m not afraid to pursue; however, like I said in a previous post, it has done me no favours. Men are the ones that are meant to pursue their spouse because that’s just the Biblical order of things. As difficult as this maybe to gulp down, it’s best to be prayerful about your spouse and allow God to orchestrate your “love story”.


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But in the mean time, what do the ladies do? I would say, pursue your ministry. Chase after God all the more because I think it’s very important to build on your personal relationship with God so that when God finally blesses you with your future spouse, you can grow strong in the faith together. Once you have a family, you can teach your children (if you have any) more about God because you’ve already developed that level of intimacy with God as a single person on your own that you’ll be better equipped to guide others in the right direction.


If a small rudder can change the course of a huge ship’s direction, then just believe that (you) being that small rudder, God can change the course of your destiny when you follow His direction and instruction. Keep your faith in God, Trust Him all the more, and keep praying for God to chart the course of your destiny and your future spouse’s destiny to be in alignment to what God has planned for the both of you to do. Put God first and all these things shall be added unto you. I pray that these videos by Joe will bless your spirit today. God Bless You Everybody 😀 !


Matthew 6:33 [Full Chapter]

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.


Part 2

Ordering Our Conversations Right – The Power of “Let there be…” and “I am”.


 

Hi Everybody!

Well apart from the Twitter hacking and spam situation that is a story of yesterday and a yesterday that’s gone, I think today is an awesome Day that the Lord has made, so REJOICE! I hope all of you are enjoying your Friday! I’m looking forward to The Avengers Movie being released out today…WOooHooooo! I’m not sure if people are going out the see that movie but I think it’s gonna be awesome! 3D- IMAX experience…actually I’d much prefer the D-Box experience where your seat moves with the action but it’s all good! lol. Ok, enough about that Sherline. 🙂

Today I want to talk about ordering your conversations right. I won’t say I’m a guru in this area but I have found that in my walk we can get caught up with individuals that love idle talk. The way I see it, you need to be surrounded with people that are like-minded rather than not. Un-equal yokes don’t just happen…they occur after hanging out with the wrong crowd for extended periods of time. I enjoy being around mature people and when I was growing up, I was always surrounded by adults and it’s amazing the wisdom that you can get from just sitting there and listening to what they have to say. There are only two categories of people that I’ve encountered. Those that are foolish and those that are wise; mind you, even crafty people are wise.

Matthew 12:34
Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

As some of you may already know, I love the book of Proverbs because it has so many verses of scriptures that I would say are a manual in how to live right and order your conversations and relationships right. A lot of broken relationships stem from poor communication and also misunderstandings. The important feature of good relationships is communication, attentiveness to listen rather than being heard, exercising prudence in your speech and learning what to say and what not to say and reading in-between the lines of what people are saying. If you learn to listen to what people say, you will learn a lot about a person. In fact, I recommend reading my other post called learning to listen rather than being heard because it ties into what I’m talking about here.

Luke 6:45
A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

It is easier to discern a fool from a wise one when you listen to what comes out of their mouths. Everything people say is a reflection of what is inside their heart. This is not to say that you won’t encounter some crafty people in this life but I believe that as you train yourself to listen to what people say out of their mouths, it also becomes easier to weed out the crafty ones as well since they know how to play games with their words just because they understand the principles and the dynamics of  “ordering your conversations right”. Those that manipulate people, understand the power that words play in a conversation. If you want to avoid being manipulated, you also have to wisen up and understand how to order your conversations right.

The importance of ordering a conversation right is found in learning how to RESPOND versus how you REACT to what’s being said or spoken over you and your life. Sometimes people may speak negative into your spirit and I’m around people like that a lot but I always say…”no I don’t think so”, “I reject what you say”, “I don’t believe in what you’ve just said….” etc etc.  Negate the negative by rejecting the spoken word against you. Rebuke it is what I’m getting at here. If you don’t rebuke or correct someones spoken word against you and your family…then you passively accept and agree to that spoken word that will start to manifest itself in your life…and you’ll see things start to happen around you and then you are left wondering “What in the world is going on?” It’s because you didn’t learn to reject the negative that was spoken against you. Don’t accept the negative as truth. Don’t embrace such foolishness with open arms. Anything that self-exalts itself against the knowledge of God in your life…must be condemned…must be rejected…must be nullified and of no effect by you speaking against it.

2 Corinthians 10:5
casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,

I emphasize….learn to be an active and attentive observer rather than being a passive individual wondering “why the world is against you?”…Speak to your situations and confess positive things so that the negative has no power over your circumstances. This is an important thing to learn especially for those engaged with intercession and Spiritual Warfare…you’ve got to order your prayers right before God if you want to see HIM MOVE.

via http://optimaloptimist.blogspot.ca
What words are you embracing into your Spirit man??????

Words have a creative power. If you all consider that the World was created by just God’s Spoken word“Let there be Light; and there was light” (Genesis 1:3), then you will come to understand that because we are made in His Image and likeness, we too create our world by the very words that come out of our mouths.

Genesis 1:27
So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

So order your conversations right people. Even the words “I Am” is just as powerful. The Lord Jehovah is called the Great “I AM”. So when we refer to ourselves in first person…”I Am (fill in the blank)….”, you are using a god-like language to claim something as part of your IDENTITY because we are all created to be like God; in His image and likeness.

Is it truly a mystery that we have the same ability to create things with the words that come out of our mouths just like our Creator, Father God?  

 

Whenever God spoke in the Bible, His Words never returned void…they accomplished that which he spoke into motion.

Isaiah 55:11
So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, But it shall accomplish what I please, And it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.

So in the same way…when we speak idly or thoughtlessly and say negative things like “I am sooo stupid” or “I wish I wasn’t so dumb” etc etc …you are actually claiming “stupidity” and “dumbness” as part of your IDENTITY. For those that have been reading my blog for a while, please refer back to my post I AM NOT HAVING AN IDENTITY CRISIS to understand where I’m going with this.

So understand the power of words…repent of negative speech and seek God to cancel every thoughtless word that you spoke against yourself or to anyone so that you don’t reap a harvest of those words in your life. Blessing and cursing shouldn’t come out of that creative mouth of yours.

James 3:10
Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so.

Understand the power of your god-like abilities to speak and create things into existence. Trust me when I say that it isn’t easy to re-train the way you speak since we already have our bad habits that need to break in terms of speaking idly to one another. I too find it difficult sometimes and slip up but have learned to repent quickly rather than passively act like the words spoken were of no effect.

Every word has an effect so it is important to repent of any words that were spoken out of foolishness. Broken relationships usually involve an exchange of hurtful words…so understand the principle people and learn to confess the negative words you spoke idly to yourself or against another person before God, repent of them (seek God’s forgiveness for what you said), and renounce the words spoken so that they don’t manifest in your life. You don’t want to reap the words that you sowed.  Once you get into the habit of it… it’ll become second nature and you’ll see amazing things happen to you when your train of thoughts and your speech to be focused on the POSITIVE and not the negative.

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So for today…instead of Scriptures to meditate, I’m going to do something a little different just for today *Gasp…say it ain’t sooo Sherline…I was soo looking forward to them*. I put as many scripture in my post for  you to meditate so that’s why instead,  I’m going to post a video on the “I AM Factor” teaching by Bishop Tudor Bismark. This teaching will definitely bless you and change your life today. I first heard about this teaching from my Choir director and I watched it and thought AWESOME!!!! so I’m now going to share it here with you. God bless you Everybody!

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Loneliness – a message for the single


Hi Everybody!

Ok, this message is for the single people, and by single I mean never married or widowed.  It’s from former-Pastor Justin Cox of P4CM and it’s funny but it’ll bless you.

Destiny Seekers as Priority Builders


When we think of obedience it often seems like we are given a whole bunch of rules that restrict us from doing “What we want” but the truth is we need to have a set of Guidelines that direct us to cultivate a balanced personality, a Christ-centered character that helps us build our image into what God wants us to be. This is all choice driven and obedience requires self-control and a mind that is willing to yield to divine wisdom and wise counsel about daily affairs. What or who is ordering your steps?

This is question I asked in an earlier post and the importance of this question is to help us analyze why we aren’t reaching our full potential. To reach ones full potential, there is a need to cultivate a spirit of Humility and OBEDIENCE. I entitled this post Obedience is Better than Sacrifice at first but then decided to change the title to Destiny Seekers as Priority Builders because some people operate with a misguided view about their actions when they do the things that they do with no sense of order and balance in their activities.

We set priorities in order to function at our optimum level by managing them with a sense of balance and structure nurtured with wisdom and understanding. However, when we participate in certain activities in our daily lives such as  when we serve in the church (or places of worship), or work in the workplace,  or when handling our relationships with our family members, friends or via livingthebalancedlife.compeers, etc. we sometimes handle our affairs carelessly when we operate in a “My way or the Highway” philosophy. We not only handle these important areas carelessly, but we inevitably increase the probability of breaking our treasured relationships with this level of arrogance. Humility is the key here yet again. We have to sit down and do some self-analysis on the areas we need to change in order to set our priorities in order, but we first have to recognize our weaknesses and admit our failures if we want to progress with this undertaking.

So Question: How have you been going about your daily business?

Let me just say this:

It’s not enough to be good at a job and yet treat your co-workers like garbage no matter how well able you are to accomplish the task.

It’s not good enough to be a mere provider for the family (if you are a man) in order to put food on the table and neglect to be a part of your children’s lives while also ignoring the fact that your wife needs to hear your affirmation of your love for her each day.

It’s not good enough women to be able to cook, clean, do laundry and in some cases go to work and not be there emotionally for your children or neglect your husbands need for intimacy and affection.

It’s not good enough kids to go to school and do your homework, get A’s and not have GOD involved or scheduled in your multitude of activities.

You can sacrifice time  and effort to make money which is an honest activity but we consequently risk the loss of our important relationships if you don’t set your priorities in order and maintain a balance with our activities. Being obedient in this sense comes from understanding what it means to maintain a heart of humility and recognizing the areas we have to improve upon to ensure we maintain a balance in all the things and activities required of us to fulfill our God-driven purpose, dreams, and destiny. Focus on building balance because when you are obedient to the call in your life, you must understand what you have to do in order to get your priorities in order to satisfy the call. Imbalance in these areas will pose as a handicap to you reaching your full potential.

Destiny Seekers are Priority Builders.

A few Sundays ago, my dear Pastor, Pastor Pat gave us a list of 5 priorities we need to maintain in a specific order to which I agree with and would like to share it with you while we are on the topic of setting priorities to fulfill our destinies and the call in our lives.

(1) God is your number 1 priority,

(2) then your Health,

(3) then your Family,

(4) then your Work, and last but not least,

(5) your Divine Network Relationships (friends and peers).

Questions to Consider:

When you have your priorities in order and listed like this you can look back on the list and ask yourself:

Where is it that I lack balance?

What areas am I neglecting?

Am I balanced?

What or who is causing me to not fully satisfy the calling in my life?

What is hindering my progress?

What do I have to do now after I recognize the areas of weakness in my behavior that is preventing me from reaching my full potential?

Who or what can help me set my messed up priorities in order?

I know that there are areas within me that need a little (if not a lot of) tweaking and sprucing up but recognizing that is the first step. Aim to work on the areas that you are lacking or neglecting so that you maintain a balance. Sometimes, we are not at peace within ourselves because we have messed up priorities. List the things that are hindering you from fulfilling your duties to each of these 5 areas and weed out the things or people that contribute to the reasons why you are unable to function to the fullest capacity in each of these areas. If we want to fulfill our destinies in this life, we have to be honest with ourselves first so that we can learn from our mistakes, our bad patterns of behavior, and change our conduct to achieve better results in these areas that need a behavioral make-over.

~~~~ Food for thought so marinate in it. Stay blessed Everyone!

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Learning to Listen rather than being Heard


So today I thought that I’d start off with another character building post. I was thinking about the importance of listening rather than being heard. My cell group at my church talked about this a couple of weeks ago and I started to do some self-reflection. I know that I have a habit of talking a lot, and when you have such a character trait such as I, you will realize how difficult it is to stop and be still and listen to what others are saying. This also happens when we pray as well but for this particular post I’m focusing on people relationships. I admit that I’m still a work in progress since I am aware of my general talkative behavioral tendencies so I’m not going to water this one down either just to sleep well at night. The nature of listening should be harnessed in order to build relationships.

I believe that broken relationships are a result of poor communication and this is the reason why we need to hone in on the things that makes us become better at communicating with each other. By practicing effective communication, we learn how to maintain and build relationships and avoid unnecessary arguments that break up these relationships.  This skill is required in your social, familial and business life.

Why is it so important to listen? It is necessary to exercise our listening skills in order to:

1)  Gather information;

2) Hear what is being said;

3) Understand what is being said; and

4) To watch out for the meaning behind what is being said.

There are reasons why I am bringing this up. I noticed that if we want to sharpen our discernment about people and make smart decisions about general issues in our social, familial and business lives, we have to focus on the basic things that we need to change in order to exercise sound judgement calls. Listening is a Skill that needs to be sharpened if you want to avoid making crazy mistakes that could have been avoided had you listened. Many times we make mistakes in our social lives because we don’t take the time to understand the full picture of a story that is being relayed to us and we jump to conclusions rashly because we haven’t sifted the meaning behind the words being spoken. Trust me, been there and done that. Listening will help us to develop effective communication to avoid misunderstandings.

What types of listening skills do we have?

1.)  Attentive Listening –  is a communication technique that requires the listener to understand, interpret, and evaluate what they hear.

2.) Selective Listening – This is when a person hears another but selects to not hear what is being said by choice or desire to hear some other message. This can take several forms and result in acting out in destructive ways. An example is to become passive aggressive by pretending to hear and agree to what was said when actually your intent is to NOT act on the message, but make the other person think you will. Another form is to act on what you wanted to hear instead of what was said. Continued selective listening is one of the best ways to destroy a relationship.

3.) Reflective Listening is a communication strategy involving two key steps: seeking to understand a speaker’s idea, then offering the idea back to the speaker, to confirm the idea has been understood correctly.

4.) Competitive Listening happens when we are more interested in promoting our own point of view than in understanding or exploring someone else’s view. We either listen for openings to take the floor, or for flaws or weak points we can attack. As we pretend to pay attention we are impatiently waiting for an opening, or internally formulating our rebuttal and planning our devastating comeback that will destroy their argument and make us the victor.

5.) Ignore Listening A type of false listening occurs where a person is pretending to listen but is not hearing anything that is being said. They may nod, smile and grunt in all the right places, but do not actually take in anything that is said.

I’m pretty sure at some point in our lives we have been guilty of practicing some poor listening skills that I have listed here which may have contributed to serious misunderstandings. Many arguments that we have with our peers can be purely avoided had we perfected our listening abilities. I am guilty of some of these poor listening skills and that is why I’m writing about it. We have to strive to master the art of attentive and reflective listening. If you want to be an effective communicator, you have to develop these specific skill sets.

Ask yourself these questions, have you ever been in an argument with someone?

What started the argument? What was the cause of the misunderstanding?

Did you listen to what was said or were you busy competing to be heard?

Seriously think about it and consider how your actions contribute to arguments and misunderstandings.

The Benefits of Effective Listening

The whole point of improving your listening skills is to gather information, analyze it and then make a sound judgement of what you understand by what was said.  Those that compete to be heard as oppose to learning how to be attentive miss out basic information that leads to general misunderstandings. Being heard is not as important as listening to the meaning of what is being said. Watch for people’s body language as well as the tone of what they are saying. This is also necessary if you want to become better at discerning people and situations.

I think that to be an effective listener you have to learn to be an OBSERVANT Listener.

The Observant Listener doesn’t just listen attentively and reflectively to what is being said. They also watch and look out for the tone and nuances found in a person’s body language to gauge what a person means behind what is being said, in order to understand what is being said by reading in between the lines of what is being said. Being observant requires you to make sense of what is being said by using your EYES and EARS to complete the meaning behind the words. You can solve many of your problems and other people’s problems by analysing their body language. 93% of human communication is based on non-verbal body language so it’s not enough to rely on just hearing what is being said because you have to take into consideration that words only comprise of 7% of our communication. You have to be an observant listener to communicate effectively and this will help you to sharpen your discernment level in order to make sound judgement calls.

I must emphasize that this is necessary to sharpen your discernment level.

If you talk a lot like I do, try sitting quietly when your with a group of people and listen attentively to the words being spoken. I found this really hard at times because sometimes I like to put my 2 cents into a situation. I have found that Humility is key here if you want to communicate effectively. Remember, it is not so important to be heard as it is to listen to what is being said. When you are competitive in a conversation you lose out on important information that could have been the defining point required to have been heard in order to make a sound judgement call. You can help people by listening attentively rather than passively.

Learn to find meaning in what is being said to understand what is being said. If you don’t understand something that was spoken then ask questions in order to clarify a point. It is important to clarify what you do not understand so that you don’t remain confused about a specific point or you will end up believing something that is false.  If you get half a picture, there is room for fallacy. You can get an inaccurate picture if people leave out information or if you fail to listen to the message in its entirety. This is how some people end up believing in a LIE. Avoid these mistakes by taking the time to listen to EVERYTHING that is being said. You can weed out the truth of a message if you take the time to analyze the words spoken. Effective communication requires you to be an active observer and not a passive one. You can make great decisions in you life when you practice to listen attentively and reflectively.

Last Note: Seek to understand in order to be understood. Listen attentively and don’t compete to be heard.

Relationships are built by a MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING. I hope this will help you in your present relationships and will guide you to make better judgments in your life.

Proverbs 19:27
Cease listening to instruction, my son, And you will stray from the words of knowledge.

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