Well, today’s post is inspired by Brandon’s posts regarding the topic of singleness. You can read some of his posts regarding the topic of being single by clicking on the following links: Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4 and Part 5 .
Personally, I think it’s a struggle to remain single in this sex-saturated and perverse world. Christian singles are bombarded with various types of temptations that can lead you to move against your better judgment and probably settle for less than God’s best for your life. I’m in my 30’s and have never dated … *shocking* I know. Despite never having dated, I’m not really sad nor discouraged about it because I really want to wait for the right person to enter into my life at God’s perfect timing. It’s not that I didn’t have guys that were interested in me, because I have had some guys that were interested in me but when I lived with my Grandparents, dating was a no go in my life. So even if a guy pursued me, I wouldn’t have been allowed to date them anyway since my grandparents were not having it. Once I moved to live with my mom in Canada, I thought “finally, I can probably find someone here and date somebody at last, Whoohooo!”, but somehow, ironically, I was so focused on my education and career that I didn’t really allow myself to find any interest in dating someone while I was at school. I feel like my grandparents focus on my education was so heavily ingrained in me that I literally sought no need to be distracted by having a relationship with someone at the time. That didn’t mean that I didn’t have any guy-friends when I went to school, it’s just that I didn’t have a “boyfriend” nor did I “date” anybody. If I could turn back the hands of time, would I change anything? I highly doubt I would because I am of the view that God is in control. We sometimes like to take that control and direct ourselves into places or relationships that have no God-centered focus, and end up in situations that could have been avoided had we learned to be patient and passed the test of endurance. Haste makes Waste, but patience always produces great results. It’s all in how you look at things.
I personally want to be with someone who can try to learn to understand me and love me for who I am. I certainly am not perfect as a person and nor do I expect perfection in my future spouse either. I’m blogging on purpose about my faith because this is where I stand as a person and as a Christian gal. Christ for me is the standard of love that I am seeking. I’m not going to expect my husband to be “perfect” per say, but I do expect my husband to be a Christ-believer and lover of God that’s for sure! I will not be un-equally yoked to a non-believer and that’s why I am not desperate for marriage when I know and believe that God is able to orchestrate a God-driven and God-purposed marriage for my life.
I look at couples who have been in long-lasting relationships and have seen that through the ups and downs that life had to offer them, if Christ wasn’t at the center of their relationship, their relationships would not have lasted as long as they have. My grandparents are a true reflection of that. Marriage is a covenant relationship and God hates divorce so waiting for the right relationship seems worth it to me rather than opting for what simply seems “available” at the time and then ending up in a nasty separation that leads to a bitter divorce and worse yet with children in the mix. That is not God’s design for our lives, so pursue purity, patience and build on your faith and relationship with God before seeking to yoke yourself with simply “anybody” just to escape this season of singleness. You don’t need to opt for a lifetime of pain by pursuing a relationship with haste when you can experience a lifetime filled with joy when receiving God’s promise of love, joy and true fulfillment in a God-driven, purpose driven marital relationship designed His way.
Although I’ve never dated *shock*, I can say that as a single person, it’s been hard to live the single life trying to maintain this sense of purity when there are so many things that tempt us to lead us astray from staying on the right path. However, Jesus demonstrates that it is possible to withstand temptation since He was able to fast and pray in a desert isolated from distractions for 40 days! (Matthew 4:2; Mark 1:13; Luke 4:2)… Good God, right!? Well, what about us who are not devoid of distractions like He was but are completely bombarded by them every single day? It sure isn’t easy to maintain your purity when temptation is literally everywhere and I mean everywhere in this sex-saturated world! However, having said that though, it’s also not impossible when you put God on the throne of your heart. Christ literally is the standard of purity that we all ought to seek as an example to live by. Does that mean you disregard your desires for a spouse or intimacy?… Hell NO! It just means that you place God first on the throne room of your heart, and then all the things that you desire, God will be the One Who will satisfy the desires of your heart.
You open Your hand And satisfy the desire of every living thing.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
Seek God first and all these things shall be added unto you. Waiting on God for whatever He has promised you is a test of perseverance, endurance and also a test of FAITH on the part of the Believer. Don’t look at your current age, social status, relationship status, economic status etc etc as a measuring stick to define your success as a person, because all these things mean nothing to God when He has an idea of how He wants to bring you to what He has promised you. God is intentional and directional with respect to how He guides us towards fulfilling our destinies. You just have to learn to believe that and trust Him at all times. It isn’t easy, but it can be done so don’t lose heart. Be encouraged. 😀
Then Abraham fell on his face and laughed, and said in his heart, “Shall a child be born to a man who is one hundred years old? And shall Sarah, who is ninety years old, bear a child?”
If Sarah could bear a child that God had promised both Her and Abraham at the age of ninety, then don’t you think God can do much more for you? It’s easy to be discouraged and cynical while waiting… I can surly testify to that… On the other hand, be grateful for what it is that you currently do have. I think the fact that I’ve been through quite so much in my short life-span has made me appreciate each day that I wake up alive to see another day. Having near-death experiences has humbled me and makes me filled with gratitude for what God has done in my life and that’s why I make it a point to exalt Him. I may not have everything that I would like to have right now in my life, but I am grateful for what God has been able to give me. So whether you’re single, married, separated or divorced, your status doesn’t make you who you are, your belief system is what makes you who you are.
Marriage doesn’t guarantee happiness, because God is the only One who can satisfy the void and the desires of your heart. Being single may seem like a pain in the butt right now for those that seek to be married, but it’s far better than opting for and settling for an un-equally yoked relationship with someone that doesn’t share the same belief-system as you do out of sheer desperation. Don’t settle for less than God’s best for your life is what I’m getting at. Also, don’t be bitter nor jealous towards your friends that have found a partner that God has blessed them with. Rather, rejoice and believe that God surely has not overlooked you. Trust in His leading at all times.
God knows exactly what you need and knows how to direct us to move at the “right timing” towards our destinies and destiny-partners. I firmly believe that God knows how to orchestrate a God-directed relationship to form. I’m not only talking about martial relationships exclusively, I’m also talking about business relationships, ministry relationships, familial relationships, friendship relationships etc etc. God has a way of bringing people together to fulfill a God-driven purpose. God is in the fine details of your life’s plan and you should believe that He still performs miracles to this day. We should not underestimate the miraculousness of God when it comes to forming God-directed relationships. God is intentional and He knows how to lead people to meet each other His way. So if you feel discouraged as a single person still in the “waiting phase” of life, my encouragement to you is to still believe that God has His best interests for you in His heart. You may not understand the delays happening in your life, but God functions much like this African saying: “A blessing delayed is not a blessing denied”. I pray that this post encourages you today.
I want to post this song by Elevation Worship called Give Me Faith to bless your Spirit today. God bless you Everybody! 😀